Why it’s ok to cry over your parents’ stuff after they die
I visited an overwrought woman this week who had already spent months trying to figure out what to do with the contents of her deceased parents’ home. She knew she didn’t have room in her home in another state to take all of their possessions – and she felt guilty that she would have to let so much of them go.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said, a refrain I hear daily.
I walked her through some lessons I’ve learned from liquidating estates and clearing out homes over the past dozen years. First, I talked her out of her horrendous idea of transporting the items back to her state to put them in storage until her children are old enough to appreciate them.
“You will end up paying a fortune in storage unit fees, and your kids aren’t going to want the stuff anyway.”
Then we got more serious. We talked about why it’s ok to cry over your parents’ stuff.
Your parents don’t want you to suffer
“Whatever your beliefs may be about what happens to people after they die,” I began, “I assure you that your parents do not want you to suffer any longer by continuing to deal with their possessions. They want you to release this weight and to go on living a happy life. And the things in this house? They’re excited about going to meet new people who will love them as much as your parents did. Let us take this burden off you.”
The woman collapsed in tears, needlessly apologizing. I walked over and gave her a big ol’ bear hug.
“I’ve never thought about it that way,” she said, her sympathetic daughter and husband looking on. “I can’t believe you made me cry. This feels therapeutic. Thank you.”
“Tears are part of the process of dealing with losing your parents and handling the possessions they left behind,” I said. “And the hugs are on the house.”
Are you overwhelmed by the burden of what to do with your parents’ stuff? Contact us today. We can help you honor your parents’ lives by giving second lives to their possessions.
